View Full Version : Make your own Big Brother- funny
http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/meltingpot/alexandra/0/big-brother/bigbrother.html
Agent Smith
19-01-2006, 09:09 44
that is very funny.
ok i used scoobylove,beachsleeper,edmondo,boysey,girlzie and i as the names and look at the results............. Be warned loads of it are truely quite accurate
Your Own Big Brother!
Day 1 - ed admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of tracey. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, pauline is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although andy later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. graham creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. jacqui hits him with a spoon.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of effil tower out of spahgetti. After much persuasion by graham, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the effil tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when andy, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat ******* in the house, eats half the spahgetti. jacqui is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the effil tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when andy farts and blows effil tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. tracey cries.
6 - graham gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, tracey admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a spoon. ed says he never wears condoms because they make his arse sore and graham agrees. pauline goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual *******s. andy sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up graham.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. ed goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. jacqui and tracey are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for ed.
9 - jacqui and tracey are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. pauline sings them a song - star trekkin - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote tracey out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. tracey leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with tracey's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. pauline has to make do without the cucumber she requested. jacqui is visibly depressed and is comforted by graham, who tries to touch her on her lips.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of graham touching jacqui's lips over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that andy refuses to run because his arse hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. andy finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. jacqui calls andy a lazy arse.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. ed tells everyone individually that he thinks jacqui is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. jacqui and graham are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for ed.
16 - The nominations are announced. jacqui can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. graham is equally stunned and turns to jacqui for comfort. andy is distraught and confesses to pauline that he thinks he is in love with graham. pauline says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote graham out of the house. jacqui says she is gutted and even gives graham a clipping of hair from her lips to prove how much she cares. andy is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. graham leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of jacqui clipping the hair from her lips. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of patagonia in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of patagonia sounds like but andy says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose ed as the one who must complete the task.
21 - ed successfully burps not only the National Anthem of patagonia but also God Save The Queen, star trekkin and the theme tune to bgbrother. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and ed tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. andy and pauline are nominated.
23 - andy and pauline take their nominations well and sit down with ed and jacqui to discuss why they voted for them. ed keeps quiet but jacqui accuses andy of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred arse before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote pauline out of the house and nobody really gives a ****. pauline leaves.
25 - ed becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of ed's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a ******.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of elephant dung using only a spoon. ed is unsure but andy is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, andy breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the elephant incident from his childhood. jacqui tries to persuade him to stay but ed sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. andy decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the elephant dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely ****ed on some vegetable wine, made by jacqui from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. ed asks jacqui to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly ed nominates jacqui to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does jacqui.
30 - When the nomination is announced, jacqui graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that ed is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. ed takes his £70,000 and runs away to patagonia. Nobody, including jacqui, ever sees him again.
Agent Smith
19-01-2006, 19:31 28
brilliant
have seen some pretty good ones on other sites :hysterical:
Dspeed
29-01-2006, 11:45 26
web hosting, domain name, free web site, email address web hosting domain names photo sharing
Your Own Big Brother!
Day 1 - Jack daniels admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Charlote church. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Billy piper is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Simon comfort later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Jim beam creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Iwan Humpalot hits him with a rolling pin.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of The lourve out of Japanese. After much persuasion by Jim beam, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the The lourve task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Simon comfort, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat ******* in the house, eats half the Japanese. Iwan Humpalot is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the The lourve task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Simon comfort farts and blows The lourve over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Charlote church cries.
6 - Jim beam gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Charlote church admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a rolling pin. Jack daniels says he never wears condoms because they make his Balls sore and Jim beam agrees. Billy piper goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual *******s. Simon comfort sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Jim beam.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Jack daniels goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Iwan Humpalot and Charlote church are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Jack daniels.
9 - Iwan Humpalot and Charlote church are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Billy piper sings them a song - the jc song - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Charlote church out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Charlote church leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Charlote church's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Billy piper has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Iwan Humpalot is visibly depressed and is comforted by Jim beam, who tries to touch her on her clitorus.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Jim beam touching Iwan Humpalot's clitorus over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Simon comfort refuses to run because his Balls hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Simon comfort finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Iwan Humpalot calls Simon comfort a lazy Balls.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Jack daniels tells everyone individually that he thinks Iwan Humpalot is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Iwan Humpalot and Jim beam are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Jack daniels.
16 - The nominations are announced. Iwan Humpalot can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Jim beam is equally stunned and turns to Iwan Humpalot for comfort. Simon comfort is distraught and confesses to Billy piper that he thinks he is in love with Jim beam. Billy piper says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote Jim beam out of the house. Iwan Humpalot says she is gutted and even gives Jim beam a clipping of hair from her clitorus to prove how much she cares. Simon comfort is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Jim beam leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Iwan Humpalot clipping the hair from her clitorus. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Botswana in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Botswana sounds like but Simon comfort says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Jack daniels as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Jack daniels successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Botswana but also God Save The Queen, the jc song and the theme tune to Friends. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Jack daniels tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Simon comfort and Billy piper are nominated.
23 - Simon comfort and Billy piper take their nominations well and sit down with Jack daniels and Iwan Humpalot to discuss why they voted for them. Jack daniels keeps quiet but Iwan Humpalot accuses Simon comfort of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Balls before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote Billy piper out of the house and nobody really gives a ****. Billy piper leaves.
25 - Jack daniels becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Jack daniels's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a ******.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of sperm whale dung using only a rolling pin. Jack daniels is unsure but Simon comfort is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Simon comfort breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the sperm whale incident from his childhood. Iwan Humpalot tries to persuade him to stay but Jack daniels sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Simon comfort decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the sperm whale dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely ****ed on some vegetable wine, made by Iwan Humpalot from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Jack daniels asks Iwan Humpalot to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Jack daniels nominates Iwan Humpalot to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Iwan Humpalot.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Iwan Humpalot graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Jack daniels is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Jack daniels takes his £70,000 and runs away to Botswana. Nobody, including Iwan Humpalot, ever sees him again.
Scoobylove
29-01-2006, 21:11 41
so im a lesbien am i.............................................
:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
that was fookin hilarious:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
Powered by vBulletin™ Version 4.0.2 Copyright © 2010 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.