Agent Smith
15-08-2006, 21:54 47
One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs £5.....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
He deposits £5, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks"
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack
hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He deposits
£5, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer
prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. 3.
Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife
is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. And if you
don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better...........thank you for shopping at Asda.
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs £5.....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
He deposits £5, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks"
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack
hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He deposits
£5, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer
prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. 3.
Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife
is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. And if you
don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better...........thank you for shopping at Asda.